The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Indeed, it is the most wonderful time of the year. And for the record, I’m not talking about Christmas. Not that there’s anything wrong with Christmas, although sometimes the holiday does confuse me a tad. A fat man in a red suit with a bunch of elves represents the birth of Jesus Christ; I’m not totally seeing the obvious connection here.

But it is the most wonderful time of the year. With the release of two new next generation video game systems, by Nintendo and Sony, a new age in interactive entertainment has blossomed. However, there’s far more than that going on than just some fancy new consoles. In the past month, more has happened in the video game industry then perhaps the last two years combined. Let us take a quick look at what has happened since November:

Guitar Hero 2 hit the shelves in early November giving me some brand new songs to rock out to. Then we had Final Fantasy 12 hit the Playstation 2 while the remake of Final Fantasy 3 dropped on the Nintendo DS. And as you know, I’m a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series. Hell, I even own Mystic Quest for my SNES (bonus points go out to those you who already know what that game is). Then there’s Gears of War, Children of Mana, Disgea 2, and far too many other titles to name in the space I have here. Oh, and there’s this little known game called the Legend of Zelda, the Twilight Princess too. You may have heard of it.

I think by now, its safe for me to confide in you. I’ve bared enough of my soul over the past nine months that I feel almost comfortable in speaking of my feelings. Almost comfortable, but let’s face it, I’m not exactly the emotional type. That being said, I’m not afraid to tell you that I have wept, on more than one occasion, tears of absolute joy over the amount of high quality content that has come out recently for video game enthusiasts.

There is so much out there right now that I do not have the hours in my day to play all the games that I would like. Well, I guess I could have worse problems. Like cancer. I mean, that would suck, right?

Since Christmas is only days away, I thought I’d give you my thoughts on the must have gifts of the season: the Nintendo Wii, the Sony Playstation 3, and the Xbox 360. If you don’t have one of these items on your wish list (assuming you don’t already own all three), then we just can’t be friends anymore. Hey, it’s not my fault that you’re a loser.

First off, the Nintendo Wii. Ok, I’ll admit, the name scares me. It did the first time I heard it, and it continues to this day. But there are some benefits to it. It’s very catchy in some phrases. Such as, “I’m going to go home to play with my Wii.” Or, “How come girls always look at me funny when I ask them to come over and play with my Wii? I’m sure that if they’d just touch my Wii, they’d love every second they had their hands on it.”

Nintendo’s nomenclature aside, the Wii is very different from its competitors. If you’re looking for the high powered, top of the line graphics, high definition, and all that jazz, then Nintendo isn’t pandering to you. Simply put, the Wii is pure fun. I preordered mine (mainly because I’m a huge dork like that) and it is truly the most fun I have ever had with a console (even my Nintendo DS, which I have been known to take out to a romantic dinner on the occasion).

Case in point: a guy I work with, who had previously mocked Nintendo for their lack of processing power and true next-generation graphics, had a chance to sit down (or stand, as it was) and play a few rounds of the Wii sports package. The next day he was thinking of going out and purchasing a Wii just for that game (which comes included with the console). In all honestly, once you get a chance to get your hands on the console and play a few games, you’ll have the video game experience of your life. And trust me, the best is yet to come. Although, I still don’t understand why girls seem so upset when I ask them to touch my Wii. I just don’t get it.

The downside comes when I turn the system on. For some reason, whenever I power up my Wii, I don’t turn it off until six hours later at the minimum. I can’t tell you how many days in a row I’ve stayed up until 5am playing on that thing. And that can’t be healthy. Oh, and as for the stories going around about people losing their grip on the Wii-mote and having it fly out of their hands and breaking expensive plasma TVs and tearing holes in drywall, well, all I can say is: baloney. Two Fridays ago I was at a party with no less than 20 people who were well intoxicated and took turns playing Wii sports. Not a single Wii-mote was dropped or otherwise inadvertently used as a projectile. And trust me, my shirt reeked of spilled tequila halfway through that party, so I know everyone was enjoying themselves on the liquor front. So if you break something with your Wii-mote, it is 100% completely user error. Don’t blame it on Nintendo. If a bunch of drunken idiots can play without breaking anything, I’m sure you can too.

Well, there’s not much I can say about the Playstation 3 other than the fact that I’m still not convinced that it actually exists. I have yet to see a tangible model. Sure, I’ve seen the creepy TV commercials that feature what appears to be a demented baby (with no actual footage of game play). And honestly, they scare me. But until I get one of these mythical consoles in my hand, I will continue with my skepticism. I suppose I should believe in the Playstation 3. I suppose I should believe in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy as well. But I don’t. And even if I did, why would I want to buy one? Last I checked, Sony was charging $600, a DNA sample for cloning purposes, the rights to turn your house into a nuclear waste dump, and your firstborn son. And that’s just for the console! Who knows what they’re charging for the games.

Nintendo sells their console at $250 a pop and makes money on every one sold. Sony, on the other hand, loses money every time they sell a Playstation 3 for $600. Just some food for thought.

And now we get to the Xbox 360. This is Microsoft’s second foray into the console market, and to be honest, I’m impressed. Even though it has been out for a year now, the system is still very powerful and plays great graphics, especially in high definition. The price is very attractive at $399 for the “pro” console (only a blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic with down syndrome would ever think of buying the $299 “core” console… and even then, he’d have to be really drunk) since it is a full $200 cheaper than the Playstation 3.

The real strength of the Xbox 360 lies in the fact that it has been selling for an entire year. The ensuing titles launched for the system since its inception make it very attractive, and it is far easier to get a hold of the console than either of its competitors. Gears of War and Dead Rising are two games I would seriously love to play in all their high definition glory. And best of all, I have yet to see the blue screen of death appear on any Xbox console. I would have never guessed that Microsoft had it in them.

So there you have it, my take on the video game season of 2006. And from what I’ve been told, Christmas is less than a week away, so you’d better hurry up with that last minute shopping. I hope the information I’ve provided can help you in that aspect. If the ones you’re shopping for have absolutely no interest in the above, then really, there’s no reason to love them anymore. Oh, and why you’re out, do you think you can find some girls who want to play with my Wii? It’s in dire need of some multiplayer action, if you know what I mean.