Well, I haven’t talked about video games in a while, so I think it’s time I did. Mainly I want to talk about my Wii. Hey, I’m a guy, I’m obsessed with my Wii. That’s just how it is. And I’m going to brag about it as much as possible, because I have one and many of you out there don’t. So Nyah!
My renewed interest in gaming has been brought on partially by my friend Anthony who is staying with me until the end of the week. We’ve been battling back and forth on some Wii Sports, and I’ve narrowly missed being hit in the head on multiple occasions. As it turns out, Anthony really gets into his tennis. On a whim, I ran out yesterday and bought Madden 2007 (that’s NFL Football for those of you living in caves out there). The new version of Madden comes out on August 14th, so the price of the old game has dropped considerably. And in this age of $600 priced consoles, I need every single dollar I can save. For the record, for six hundred friggin dollars, that Sony console better damn well transform into Blaster or at least Soundwave.
If you haven’t played Madden on the Wii, then you haven’t played Madden football before. I mean, wow. The controls aren’t perfect, and it takes a little getting used to, but the game is sheer awesomeness. You know, if awesomeness was tangible and you could turn it into a compact disc and shove it into my Nintendo, then yeah, that’d be Madden. I can only expect that the next installment is going to be even better. My only real reason for picking up an updated copy of the game in two months would be to get Devin Hester’s upgraded performance. Oh yeah, Chicago is going to be the best team in the game just because you’ll be able to run back every kick off with them.
I’m not sure if I have to say this, but I spent the better part of the day yesterday playing simulated football. It was fun, it was a fresh new way to play Madden, and it was tiring. In fact, my arms are still a bit sore from attempting to get Rex Grossman to rifle the ball to his receivers. A “laser-rocket” arm, he has not. Well, ok, maybe I only passed to Muhsin Muhammad, but in my defense, Chicago really isn’t much of a well rounded passing team.
The moral of this story? My arm hurts. And to top it off, I have a hockey game tonight. If we lose our hockey game, well, it’s just going to be EA’s fault. And I have absolutely no qualms about blaming my lack of ability on a video game designer. Pride is not something I worry about too often. On the plus side, my Wii-antics are actually a great form of exercise. According to a U.K. study, playing 12 hours of Wii Sports a week will burn off an estimated 1,800 calories. That could translate into a weight loss of 12 kilograms (or 26.4 pounds for those of you not entirely comfortable with alien metrics) over a prolonged period of time.
This shouldn’t be anything new. I mean, playing with my Wii has always burned off a few extra calories at the end of the day. And I’ve always found that playing with my Wii is a great way to jump start my morning and get me energized. Now I have scientific proof (and yes, one study conducted across the Atlantic does qualify as infallible proof) that playing with my Wii is good for my body. I just think I should point out that girls can get a fantastic work out as well by coming over and playing with my Wii. Every girl who has gotten her hands on my Wii so far has enjoyed it immensely. I’m just putting that out there.
Well, if we’re done with the double entendres (and I’m not entirely sure that I am just yet), we can move on to more important matters: football. I hadn’t realized how much I missed the sport until I eviscerated a guy with Brian Urlacher yesterday. Seriously, that was awesome. I can’t wait to see him do that in real life. And I only have to wait until the season starts on Sunday, September 9th. That’s not too far off now, is it?
No seriously, football season needs to hurry up. If for no other reason then it will give the guys on Sports Center something to talk about. The NBA finals and NHL finals are both over, and were both skipped over by the mass of the populace. Although I’m sure the three people watching game five of the Stanley Cup enjoyed it immeasurably. And let’s be honest with ourselves here, you can only say so much about baseball.
And so the countdown begins. The NFL draft is over, along with free-agency for the off-season, so now it’s time to size up all of the teams and pick out our favorites to win. Or it would be if that made any sense. Yes, sure the Patriots had great off-season acquisitions, and sure the Chargers may have problems without a coaching staff (I think one of the janitors got promoted to offensive coordinator) and for sure the Bears will make the playoffs again if only for the sole reason that their division sucks (and I mean no offense to Brett Farve, but aside from Chicago’s defense, the NFC north doesn’t have much to be lauded these days). But I was thinking, and really, this is just a crazy idea, that maybe we should wait until the actual season starts before we go all crazy with our football-talk. I mean, after the first two weeks, all of the guys on ESPN will be switching their picks for conference winners anyway. So do you think you can spare me from some of the needless confabulation now? Maybe…? No? No, I didn’t think so. Guess I’ll just have to watch cartoons instead of ESPN until the season starts. Darn.
And just for the record, I don’t care if Rex Grossman isn’t a Peyton Manning, or a Tom Brady, or a Donovan McNabb, or even a Jeff Garcia, or that third string guy who plays for the 49ers (he may have completed a pass once or twice in his life, I think)… I really don’t care about any of that, Rex is still my hero.
Don’t forget, only two more weeks until the new Transformers movie (for better or worse). As I have been compulsorily required to do by my love of all things Transformers, here is this week’s quote:
“Me Grimlock no bozo. Me king!”
-Grimlock
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