All That Glitters is Golden

I think its time we discussed the Golden Rule. Well, no not the “Do unto others…” golden rule. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s a very good rule, and there’s a lot you can learn from it. There are several corollaries that can be derived which I believe impact all our lives on a daily basis. In fact, that may be saved as a discussion for a later day. But today we have something much different and much more important to talk about.

Today we’re going to talk about the golden rule of dating. I’m sure each and every one of you has your own personal rules when it comes to finding your preferred significant other. And that’s okay. We’re all different people so we all approach the prospective mates differently. Nothing’s wrong with that. The Golden Rule, however, applies not to who you deem dateable, but rather, it describes the field you’re capable of selecting from. Let’s just get on with it, to avoid any further confusion.

The Golden Rule:
“You are only as good as your options.”

I think we all pretty much know that. You are only capable of dating people you know. Let’s just forget about the bar scene for just a minute. I know picking up girls in bars is perfectly acceptable and it happens every day. But for the vast majority of people, you tend to date someone you already are familiar with. Generally speaking, guys end up dating girls who are in their extended circle of friends.

Now that “extended circle” is made up of your current friends (people you hang out with socially on a daily or weekly basis), your coworkers, people who know your friends or coworkers, friends of your family members, people you see regularly in extracurricular activities (i.e. going to the gym, playing on a softball team, bowling, etc.), neighbors, and my all time favorite, your buddy’s girlfriend’s friends. So I know that’s a long list, and it’s not exhaustive in any sense, but I think it’s important that we define a few things to start off.

Now according to the Golden Rule, the chances are that you’re either currently dating, or in the future will date a girl from one of these groups. The point being, people tend to date those that they feel comfortable with. If you’ll bear with me, I’d like for you single guys to do a little exercise to help me illustrate the impact of this rule.

Make a list of all the girls you already know. Then cross out all the girls who currently have boyfriends. Next, cross out any girls you don’t have regular contact with. Then cross out all the girls who are unattainable and would never even bother giving you the time of day. Now cross out all the girls that you consider to be 100% completely un-dateable (girls who used to date your best friend, girls that are too young or too old, girls with crazy emotional problems, girls who like to kick puppies, etc.). Just remember that this characteristic varies widely from person to person. Finally you have your list of options. If it seems small and well, not exactly savory, don’t worry, we’re not done yet.

If you reverse the rule and look at things from a girl’s perspective (after all the Golden Rule applies to everyone equally) you can see that she will end up dating someone she already knows. From this we can derive a very important corollary.

Golden Rule Corollary One:
“Girls will date the best choice of their options.”

Technically speaking, girls will want to date the guy with the best overall package (looks, wealth, style, personality, etc). But girls don’t always get the guy they want, even some of the most attractive girls out there fail to get hit on by the guys they’re interested in. And remember, it’s the guys who have to make the first move, so girls are somewhat limited in their abilities to pick up guys. So naturally girls are stuck choosing from the list of guys who are hitting on them. And according to the corollary above, they’ll pick the guy they like best out of that list.

And herein lies your advantage. If you turn out to be one of the few guys a girl happens to know, you have the inside track. Girls tend to prefer being in relationships, and will generally date a guy, even if the guy isn’t what she considers top shelf. Using Corollary One, you have the opportunity to pick up a girl that would otherwise be unattainable. And let’s be honest here, all you care about is getting a hot chick. Women, well, they’re a little choosier, and that’s backed by scientific fact. Just read this article on CNN.com

So what happens if you can’t seem to get an attractive female, even using this corollary? Well, it is quite obvious then, that you’re options suck. And as stated by the Golden Rule itself, if your options suck, you suck. This leads us very nicely into our second corollary.

Golden Rule Corollary Two:
“You need better options.”

Now, I don’t care if you’re currently dating an insanely attractive girl who also happens to pull down six figures a year. I mean, great for you and all, but let’s be honest, you can never have too many options. You just never know when things are going to turn south. Sometimes things just go bad and the only remedy involves being in the arms of a gorgeous, nubile young woman. And even if you already have a few options worthy of note, well, it won’t hurt you to have a few more. Just trust me on this one.

So, Corollary Two states that you should always be willing to meet new people. It doesn’t even matter if you’re meeting new guys. I mean, guys have sisters, and cousins, and ex-girlfriends, and female friends, and even hot aunts. So don’t forget to be friendly to all people, male or female, beautiful or unsightly. Because, well, ugly chicks hang out with hot girls too. If you keep an open mind, you’ll find that there are many, many ways to meet potential mates.

Just remember, even if you’ve been feeling discouraged lately or down on your dateless luck, there’s always hope. Keep the Golden Rule in mind, and its corollaries and you’ve already got a good starting point. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and meet all the girls you can! I’m sure you’ll eventually find a girl desperate enough to consider dating you. In fact, I’m positive of it. Go get ‘em, tiger!